Excerpt From "Adventures of a Ghost" (Unfinished)

I never was a fan of the walls.

It always felt like they’re watching me with their blank stares. Still do. They are white with no decorations - not a poster, a shelf, nothing - as if they are afraid we are so creative we can figure out how to off ourselves with a damn picture frame. They should know better than to think so highly of teenagers these days. We barely know how to do our own laundry.

“Sen?”

I’m sitting upright on my white bed that’s covered in white sheets and topped off with two white pillows, staring into the bland eyes of Mrs. Epperly, my psychiatrist, whom I’ve known since I was forced in here. She was assigned to me when I got admitted. It’s been a long seventy-two hours since then. They say it’s for your own good, being in here. “Protecting you from yourself” I think is what they said. But if they wanted to do that, why would they leave me alone for so long? Isn’t that probably the worst idea? Sure I had visitors from various “professionals,” but four white walls don’t keep the best company after they leave.

“Sen.” Mrs. Epperly’s legs are crossed in the portable chair across from me as she’s tapping her pencil incessantly on her clipboard. It’s not like she’s doing it to be annoying, but somehow it’s all I hear in my brain now that I’ve spotted it. “Can you tell me a little more about why you think you’re ready?”

I sigh, attempting to shake the tapping out of my mind. “Well,” I manage, “I think I’m doing… better.” She raises an eyebrow. I guess it’s going to take a little more than that. “I haven’t done anything to anyone - or myself.” I hold up my hands. The bandages around my wrists were as white as they were the day I got them, and the wounds underneath them have already begun to heal.

Mrs. Epperly’s pencil stops. “Indeed. I think that’s definitely a step in the right direction.” Her voice is soft, like a fur coat.

I laugh, a loud abrupt snort. “Hell, I’d say it’s more than a step. I haven’t even thought of it. At all.”

Mrs. Epperly smiles. “Sen, that’s great, truly. Now remember, at New Horizons we try to maintain a sense of optimistic realism. Just making sure we are looking at the glass half full, but also making sure it ‘s not overflowing. I’m sure you -”

“Is that what you think I’m doing here? Look, I’m well aware there’s a process and shit to these things. I’m not dumb.”

“I never said you were,” she says, softening her voice even further like I’m a wounded animal - which I’m not.

I’m not.